Depression

Hey guys, So today was okay.. i spent the day with my sister. I always like spending time with all of them, they are my best friends! Today i had some more vision problems.. My eyes are having a hard time adjusting to things, so once again i had to use my glasses. I have also had trouble swallowing today. I havent done much of anything today except for laying around trying to relax. I have been out trying to look for a part time job. I applied for disability a couple months back, but got denied. I took it to a attorney, he is suppose to be working on my case. He gave me this long speech when i was at my appointment that made me think. He said you are 20 years old, do you really wanna just spend the rest of your years on disability? I didnt know what to answer then.. but it really motivates me to atleast try and see what im really capable of doing. I have applied everywhere but no call backs yet. I dont know if i mentioned this or not but i am planning on going back to school in august for a EKG TECH. It was my second option career choice. I am just very interested in that, cant tell you why because i dont know lol. Lord willing, i hope that by the time august comes around i have saved enough funds to acheive what i am looking to acheive. So tonight , as im sitting here writing this, I just have an overwhelming feeling of depression for no reason. I feel like i just wanna go crawl in bed under 10 covers and cry myself to sleep. Why am i this way? Why am i so emotional? Why do i feel scared in some way? I feel very anxious. Times like this I think you just have to sleep it off. I never usually get tired till 2 AM. But from thinking to much and this feeling i have, im very tired and mentally drained . :( I just wish i was normal again. I wish i wasnt so tired everyday. Im sorry for spilling out all these emotions to you all, but its one of those things.. I guess i am going to end this for tonight. thank you guys for reading! I will enclose a picture of me and my sister!